Permanent Solutions
I have to preface this blog with some context … I am friends with a young guy and he works for a local company that does specialty clean up like chemical and fuel spills, grease pits, tank clean-outs and the like. One of the other clean up services they provide is “bio,” meaning, people. Recently, he had his first bio clean up that was the aftermath of a 23 year-old man who took his own life with a firearm. Thankfully, the deceased had already been taken away before this young guy arrived to work the clean-up. My friend shared this with me as it was his first experience with this sort of thing, even making the comment of wonder/sadness that this deceased was less than 4 years older than he was. I got the impression it was a bit of a shock that this person’s life was already over and being so close in age to my young friend. I made the comment that this was a “permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
This discussion took me back. Many years ago, long before I even considered the Ministry, I was involved in various ways with emergency services. One of those ways was as a volunteer for a search and rescue organization that specialized in water rescue, being that we were so close to the Mississippi River. One of the ways we raised funds to maintain the organization is that we would perform body removals for the Coroner's office. I was 19 years old, when my very first call was for a 18 year-old suicide by firearm. This was a nice suburban home, middle income family. This young man had worked for a flower shop doing deliveries, but had gotten caught and arrested for stealing flowers for his girlfriend the night before. Perhaps filled with shame or regret he ended his life the next day. When I walked into the finished basement this young man was front and center, sitting in a loveseat. I then noticed to the right of him were his high school graduation notices that he had been preparing to mail out. His life was over before it really began.
This was a bit of a shock to me as we were virtually the same age. I remember making this comment to my commander on scene, and he advised this was a “permanent solution to a temporary problem.” Logically, he was correct. This young man may have gotten probation or even a fine for the theft of flowers, but then that would be it. He could have moved on with life. We will never know what he was thinking at the time or how this could have been prevented. How was it that this young man, barely an adult, was not able to see any other solution?
So, as my young friend was telling me the story, I immediately remembered this other young man. I noted that the young man I had picked up, had died long before my friend was even born. Then I began to wonder what kind of life that young man would be having now? Married, with children older than my friend by this time? Fulfilling career? Involved with church? Again, we will never know.
It's hard to understand how some folks are driven to this extreme, and at the same time, it seems to be an increasing epidemic. God did not design us to be self-destructive. God designed us with love in mind, with the ability to create and the desire to be in community. I can’t imagine some of the evil that people have to deal with, or how much hurt they are experiencing. Mental anguish is NOT a part of God’s plan. I imagine those that are struggling with the ideations of suicide are not seeing or feeling love and believe themselves to be cut off from community, lonely.
If this note finds you with thoughts of suicide, please know that you are loved. Please reach out to someone, anyone. Your family, friends, a pastor, (can be any of them, at any church, I bet they're willing to help,) call 911 for emergency help, or you can call 988 which is a suicide and crisis help line. Do not let whatever problem you are facing overwhelm you to the point that you see no other way.
~Pastor Sean